Must Kill Riordan
by shadowgrave22
Summary: Percy and Grover are surfing the web in an effort to liven up their boring day. What happens when they come across a website known as Fanfiction. net?


**Disclaimer: Yeah, I'm Rick Riordan writing on a Fan fiction website because I can't get anything published!!!**

**Not.**

**Stalkers!**

**Grover's P.O.V.**

It was a typical day here at Camp Half-Blood. Mr. D was reading dirty magazines, the Aphrodite cabin was giving Tyson a "totally awesome make-over" and Percy, and I were just surfing the web.

"Grover?" Percy asked. His voice broke halfway.

"What?"

"C-Come look at this." I looked at the screen. Fanfiction. net.

"What about this?"

"We have… they are… stories…" Percy was so shocked it looked like he was going to explode.

"Percy! What's wrong?"

"S-Stalkers…"

"What?"

"Grover! Don't you see? We have stalkers!" Ok, I thought. The kid's finally lost it.

"What makes you think that?"

"L-Look." He typed our names into the search engine and a bunch of results popped up. 'Percy and Grover. More than friends? Rated M for a reason kids.' He clicked on the link and the story, well, let's just say I'd rather have my eyeballs gouged out with a ice cream scoop than read anything like that ever again.

"Ew! Sickos! God, even though this is stupid and sick, I have a sudden urge to read another story!" Percy nodded and clicked on another. 'Percy: The super jock of the school. Grover: The quiet emo kid no one talks to. What happens when they meet at a club? Will sparks fly? Percy/Grover cuz I'm a pervert. AH/AU.'" We decided not to click on that.

"Hey, type in Percy and Annabeth." He typed it in and a bunch of results popped up.

"Grover, maybe we should click on Rated K and K+ fanfics."

"Yeah, some people are just sick!" We narrowed it down to Percy Jackson and The Olympians+ Percy+ Annabeth+ Rating K+ Humor+ Parody+ Status: Complete.

"Ok, here's one. 'Percy and Annabeth eat ice cream at Chuck E. Cheese. A little TOO much ice cream. Meet the Percy and Annabeth you never knew existed.'"

**Percy: HEY ANNIE!**

**Annabeth: DO NOT CALL ME ANNIE.**

**Percy: FINE! I WILL NEVER EVER SPEAKETH TO YOU AGAIN!!!**

**Annabeth: Sigh, whaddya want?**

**Perseus: I is hungry.**

**Annie: LET US GO TO CHUCK E. CHEESE!**

**-At Chuck E. Cheese-**

**Percy: WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU, (#(*I#(*I?"**

**Annie: Gawd, Percy ur uber hawt. I 3 you!**

**-Percy and Annie get married-**

**Annie: I'm preggers!**

**R&R.**

Percy looked at me with a scared expression.

"What the hell? That sucked! What was with me suddenly acting like a three year old child!?" he screamed.

"I know! And what was with the author suddenly calling you two Perseus and Annie?" I replied.

"And what was with the text talk?"

"And why did we go from hating each other to getting married?"

"And what was with 'Annie' getting randomly pregnant?"

"That's it, I'm writing a strongly put review with all CAPS!"

**You must be logged in to review.**

We filled out the form. Our username was: StopStalkingUsP&G

**WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? PERSEUS AND ANNIE? GOD, GO DIE IN A HOLE FOR ALL WE CARE! GO GET A FIRST GRADER TO CORRECT THIS STUPID PIECE OF CRAP YOU CALL A STORY!!!**

I looked at Percy who had blood-shot eyes.

"Um, Percy? Dude, don't you think that's kind of harsh?"

"NO!" he then started to laugh like a maniac.

"Percy, um, let's go outside and get you some fresh air. Um, here, read this!" I threw a book at him with a boy on the cover in the water. He read the first chapter and started freaking out.

"Grover! This book is about us too!" I read the first chapter also, and I came to a conclusion: We had a stalker. Annabeth came to us with an irritated look.

"Gosh, it sounds like you two are being murdered- Is that my new computer?"

"Um... Yeah, but look!" she read the horrible crap and started to use some not so lady like words.

"***#!!##$##!!!"

"God, Annabeth, I didn't know you had such a dirty mouth!" said Percy.

"Guys, we have to tell Chiron!"

"No, we have to find this 'Rick Riordan' fellow. He's the one who started it all." I said.

"Ooh, I'll use Riptide!" said Percy.

"Um, we aren't going to kill anyone, OK?"

"Fine. Let's take a taxi to San Antonio!" The door opened again and a hideous creature walked in.

Tyson was coated in about eight layers of make-up.

"They no make me pretty! They make me ugly like the goat boy!"

Ok, maybe we'll bring Riptide.

**Ooh, what will happen to Rick? Will the kids rip him limb from limb or will they talk it out like civilized people? What will happen to Tyson and his 'totally awesome make-over'? Reviews make the world go 'round.**


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